The View from the Little Man – post 3,026.


2nd June 2087.


Good evening readers to the View from the Little Man on the eve of King William V’s ExxonMobil Anniversary. I sit here writing in my post-meal social area pitying the lines of bunting, that forgotten celebratory accessory, that display the St. George’s flag and sit limp in the 57 Degree heat. This weekend is a landmark in the history of the Independent English monarchy, and the first of William’s reign.


Years gone by, that now seem a distant memory, remind us of the unique power of the monarchy, the power that it had to unite the four nations together for a day of live music and ancient street party culture reminiscent of the last century. The monarchy in those days was an important vessel for foreign policy in this country – to work on friendships and boost international relations. Since the UK disbanded foreign policy has become bitter between the states of Wales, Northern Ireland and the Associational Republics of Scotland and Estonia (ARSE).


It has been the case that since ARSE broke away and established their own monarchy, that England has been forced to borrow money off the oil rich nation. For years now Scotland has eaten its way through English turf, first swallowing Durham, Newcastle and recently York. There is little left, especially food. The English government headquarters at the Milton Keynes Political Dome have been in talks to stop the invasion. However since nobody lives North of Milton Keynes anymore, the territorial gains are merely symbolic. One commentator did suggest that since the BBC moved to Salford, the country was doomed.


This weekend will provide the English people with a space to escape and the government to shift attention onto the ageing Royal duo William and Pippa, Wills and Pips or Wips. However, as the newspapers reported this week, William was once again caught with his trousers down, literally proverbially. This particular incident came after the disappointment of the failure of his personal bid for the European Polo Championship to be held in his garden next year. The ex-Prime Minister David Cameron was believed to be saddened at the news, but keen for his grandson and current Prime Minister David Junior Coulson Junior Cameron to renegotiate talks.


The news from the Milton Keynes Overseas Vision Zone this week saw England pull out of the Inverness conference on Reigniting Global Poverty Week. England has stood by the decision which has long characterised her foreign policy stance of disliking poverty a lot. Since poverty disappeared, now 15 years ago, there are those on the political scene who want it back, especially since China left the earth for space last august.


It is important now that England leap forward from this brief restbite and from the turmoil of inferiority. I am not an expert on economics but it appears to me that the only way for England to get back on her feet is to rejoin the Eurozone and totally relinquish ties with our Island neighbours. France and Spain now represent common ground so I therefore approve of the plan to build a bridge between Calais and Dover to increase tradism, technology stratagem and culturality, they should also reopen the Ports and revamp the under-the-sea tunnel that used to connect England and France. Economic prosperity is surely in that direction.


So let’s raise a replica flag-like FairTrade nation emblem for Wips and look forward to a new foreign policy for a new era.


Jack Goodman

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